When am I old?

"Old is always fifteen years from now." - Bill Cosby

I hope that is true.  That wouldn't make me old until 51.  Today, I turned...36.  Thirty-six is only old to teenagers and my wife.  She reminds me all the time.  The 3 at the beginning of that number doesn't look so bad, but the 6 at the end does.  I'm over the thirty-five hump and one year closer to...I can't say it...fffforty.  Whew, that was rough.  I have gray hair, I'm almost forty.  When does the mid-life crisis set in?

Some days I feel every bit of thirty-six.  Others, not even close.  There are days I feel like I did when I was eighteen.  Eighteen was a good year.  Lots of things changed.  That is a lot better than feeling sixteen, let me tell you.  I hated my high school years.  You could not pay me to go back to high school.  At sixteen, I was an insecure, acne-faced introvert.  That made my life oh so wonderful as you can imagine.  I remember high school being a time of sports, acne medications that did not work, and running away from attractive females I was too embarrassed to talk to.  Yes, I remember their names, but they shall remain nameless.  Oh, and big hair.  Not mine, the girls.  Although, I think my head was too big for my body during those years, and it could have been because of the satellite dishes I had on each side of my head.  I think I finally grew into them.

At eighteen, there was no more acne, and no more introvert.  How things changes in two very long and painful years.  I was somewhat brave enough to talk to girls, who will still remain nameless.  Of course, I still had many dateless weekends, but at least I was brave enough to ask.  Eighteen was a happy time.

Now, I'm not saying I don't like my life now.  I love it.  I love my wife and family, and my career.  Life is going good.  I get to catch crooks every day.  I think it's just that whole, "being on the other side of thirty-five" thing.  That doesn't appeal to me, really.  Being that close to the middle of my life is scary.  

I know, there are people older than me who may be reading and thinking I'm whining or something.  Of course I am.  Because...I don't want to be as old as you!  I don't want to get old.  I don't want to deal with things old people deal with.  What was that "Toys R Us" tag line?  "I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid."  That's me.  I still have fun in that store.  I love the Legos. 

At some point I will be, "that old guy."  Wait, I heard that from a teenager recently.  Punk kid.  Some days I feel old, especially when I say something like...turn the music down!  Or, "don't make me come in there."  There are plenty more, but I can't remember them.  Wait, isn't memory the first thing to go?  I forgot.