I'm serious...that's a lie.

"A person with no children says, 'Well I just love children,' and you say 'Why?' and they say, 'Because a child is so truthful, that's what I love about 'em - they tell the truth.' That's a lie, I've got five of 'em.  The only time they tell the truth is if they're having pain." - Bill Cosby

Generally speaking children can be honest, when it suits them.  So far, only two of my children are capable of telling lies.  Riley can't even speak yet so we have more time before she learns the art of deception from her sisters.

I expect my children to lie to me at first.  Sort of like a suspect at work.  I arrested a guy one time with drugs on his person.  This fool had felony narcotics in HIS shoe.  When I found it, the first thing out of his mouth was "That's not mine."  Really?  Well, who would it belong to?  Suspects always lie at first.  So do children.

Here is an example.  Of course, as always, I have plenty as any parent would.  Hannah had an aquarium in her room when she was younger.  It was only five gallons, but it was full of small tropical fish.  I had a small can of fish food behind the tank and she helped me feed them nightly.  Well, one night I went in to her room to feed the fish.  There, floating across the top of the tank was a layer of multi-colored flakes.  I don't mean a thin layer in one area.  I mean a slab of flakes covered the tank from side to side.  I asked the obvious question.  What happened?  Her response, "I don't know."  I asked her if she fed the fish.  She looked at the tank, looked at me, then back to the tank.  Hannah then looked me in the face and said, "No" while shaking her head.  Keep in mind, she was an only child at that time.  I knew her mother and I did not feed them.  So by process of elimination, she must have done it.  She finally admitted it, realizing her error in judgment.  But why lie? "I don't know."  Stressful I tell you.

Some children, like adults, have "tells" when they lie.  Cooper's is easy.  Ashley and I know she is lying about something when she follows the statement with, "I'm serious."  That is her dead giveaway.  I could be color blind (which I am not), and she could hand me a red book and tell me it is green.  The only way I would know she is lying is when she followed the statement with "I'm serious."

I said earlier that Riley would learn the are of deception from her sisters.  But, maybe some of it is instinctive.  It's like they know to lie, assuming it is for self-preservation.  Maybe they think that the lie will get the out of the trouble.  But does it?  Of course not.

As a child I told my share.  I remember having a friend's slingshot.  Bad news for an 8 year old.  I was walking down the street and saw a cat.  You know where this is going.  I decide in my infinite wisdom it is a good idea to try to shoot it with a small rock.  So, I load the rock, pull it back and let it fly.  It flew alright.  It flew right past the cat and shattered a glass storm door.  Imagine my surprise.  I wasted no time in running to my house, through the back yard and into the garage.  I was scared to death.  Some time passed and everyone got home.  There was a knock at the door and I knew it was about the shattered door.  I did what I thought I could do, lie.  Did you do it?  No, sir.  I thought I would get away with it.  I didn't think about one key thing.  Witnesses.  Crap.  The little old lady that lived across the street saw everything.  I was done.  I was asked, "why lie?"  My response..."I don't know."  I knew why, I didn't want a butt whooping, which I got anyway.

Unfortunately, my children will continue to lie, just as I did.  I guess the parent's curse works.  You know, the one where they tell you that they hope you have children that act just the way you act.  It works.