Are You a Referee, Too?

"Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee." - David Frost

If that is true, what does having three kids make you?  Better yet, how about three daughters?  I love my children dearly but I truly believe that before I can get them all out of the house, out of college, and married, they will drive me out of my mind.  Think about it.  I will be dealing with three adolescent females, one after the next, for over two decades.  Lord help me...

Hannah is almost 9 years old.  Within the next two years of so she will enter...I can barely bring myself to say it...adolescence.  Wait, I need a tissue and to remind myself to breathe.  Okay.  Where was I, oh yes, adolescence.  Beginning with her, I will be dealing with three daughters riding the emotional roller coaster, one right after the next, for over twenty years.  There will be a time that they will all be there together.  I suddenly feel light headed.  Could be the fatigue from working all night, but I think not. 

Wait, back to my original point.  My children are 8, 5, and 8 months.  Before Riley was born, yes, I was indeed a referee.  During my days off and I was home with them, I only attempted to maintain control of the circus that was Hannah and Cooper playing together.  Isn't that all a referee does anyway...maintain some sort of order amid the chaos?  As long as they survived at the end of the day I was happy.  Obviously, my expectations were not that great.  I did not ask that they get along famously, hugging and singing songs.  It did not bother me that each was not polite when requesting a toy or other trinket the other had.  I was happy no one threw punches all while running around in circles screaming like banshees.  No, I merely wanted them each not to plot the injury or death of the other.  Some days I think we barely got there.

Then, we added a third player to the game that is childhood in the Scifres household.  Luckily, I have a second referee in my wife.  But then again, I do worry they will all try to drive her crazy before me.  Let's face it, she has to put up with me first of all, and the poor dear spends more time with them alone that I do.

I think Riley and Cooper have a pact.  I am sure the meeting took place in the wee hours of the morning while we were both attempting to regain our strength to battle another day.  By the way, they still both wake up at the oddest hours during the night.  Cooper sleep walks into our room and stands there...looking...waiting.  Ashley wakes up and kindly sends her packing.  One of those nights, did she conspire with Riley while they were both awake?  I think so.  I am certain that Cooper has convinced Riley to aid her in taking over this house.  When Hannah gets back, they will all be in on it.  They will first try to take out Ashley, again, because she is with them so much and her immune system will be diminished because of me and the unknown level of stress I cause.  And, they already know the war tactic of divide and conquer.  They will pull, dangle on, and stretch that last nerve of sanity that she is desperately going to try to hang on to.

Assuming she makes it, Ashley and I will be the referees in this house.  Or, we will be whatever it is parents of three are called.  A few words come to mind, some of which I cannot print due to the fact this is a family blog.  Above all, I know this.  We will be together.  Because only together...can we defeat the onslaught that will be brought on my our lovely children in the game of "Us vs. Them."  Power to the parents (or referees)!

A side note:  I hope you who are reading this know that this truly is intended to be humorous.  This is a little over the top of course, but only to be funny.  So to my children who I hope will read this later in life...I love all three of you and I am looking forward to the years to come.  There are a lot of experiences we all will share and I am excited to be a part of it all.