Hannah and Cooper are of the age to be a big help to us around the house. Well, sometimes. They are able to clean the living room, fold a little laundry, and scrub the floors with a toothbrush on their hands and knees. Okay, so that one is an exaggeration. But you get the point. We assumed that they could help with Riley. Specifically we thought they could assist us by changing an occasional diaper. Yes, the following happened yesterday morning after I got home and was going to bed.
Ashley asked Cooper and Hannah to help. She requested Cooper aid with the morning task of changing Riley's diaper and getting her dressed. Cooper willingly, and at least initially, cheerfully agreed and walked Riley to her room. The following is my recollection of the conversation as it happened between Cooper and Hannah...
Cooper: "Hannah, we need to change Riley's diaper."
Hannah: "Check and see if is a poo diaper."
Coooper: "No, you check."
Hannah: "No, you check it."
So you get where this is going. No one wanted to check the diaper on the off chance is was a doo-doo diaper. And, assuming it was, no one was going to change it. So, mommy steps in and says, "Just change it, it is a pee diaper. She won't poo until after you change it." I know...great conversations are going on in our house. Luckily Riley is predictable in the early morning.
Anyway, neither of them wanted to change it but Cooper finally relented and took on the task. So Cooper walks back into our bedroom with Riley in tow. She is holding two wet wipes and a diaper, but no change of clothing. I assume she was just going to let Riley streak around the house in only a diaper.
Cooper argues with Riley in a failed attempt to convince her to lie down on the floor. Cooper fails to recognize that Riley cannot speak or comprehend beyond the words "momma, dada, food, milk, and eat." Even then, she can only say momma and dada. The words, "lie down so I can change your wet diaper and change your clothing" is not yet understandable to her. But, Riley finally loses the confused look on her face and sits down. Cooper forcibly lies her back to begin the task of Operation Clean Diaper.
I hear what is going on, and I roll over and peek over the side of the bed to watch the sure disaster that is about to take place. Cooper pulls off Riley's pajama bottoms rather easily, then begins to deconstruct the diaper. It is somewhat dark in the room because it is only illuminated by the bathroom light, where Ashley is getting ready for work. Cooper searches for, and finally finds, the tabs holding the diaper on and yanks them off along with the diaper from under Riley's bottom. She rolls it up and attempts to tape it back together. This takes some time, so Riley lays on the floor exposed to the world for a dangerously long amount of time. Ashley realizes this and instructs Cooper to "put the diaper on so she doesn't pee on the carpet."
Cooper unfolds the diaper and begins to put it on without wiping Riley's wet bottom to clean it up. Fortunately Riley did not pee on the carpet. She folds Riley in half. I do mean in half, because she pushed Riley's feet behind her ears. She begins to put the diaper under Riley, except she puts in under her backwards. Ashley arrives to assist and continues to aid Cooper to apply the diaper...backwards. I laugh. Cooper is confused. Ashley figures it out and stares it me. She flips it around and in record time completes the change. Mommy to the rescue. Daddy laughs and rolls over.
I realized several things. Cooper can't change a diaper. Neither Cooper, nor Hannah, will change a doo-doo diaper. Daddy will not help, but laugh.
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