I grew up in a family of mostly boys. I grew up wrestling, fighting, and feuding with my brothers. I grew up an athlete. I grew up a from a boy to a man. Actually my wife may disagree some days judging by my behavior. Anyway, not the point. So what do I know about raising daughters? Nothing, that's what. I am totally winging it. I expected to have sons at some point. Given my upbringing I considered myself better prepared to deal with raising boys. Girls, not so much. But I do the best I can. My daughters are girly-girls, and by that I mean princesses. Yes, I have examples.
First, there is "Hollywood Scifres," as she is known by Ashley. Riley is a diva in the making. I have photos, of course. Riley enjoys wearing her sunglasses inside, since that is apparently the chic thing to do at 15 months old. She mugs for the camera and I am convinced she gives thought to her poses to make sure we get "her good side." She has attitude which she has learned from her older sisters and has been known to throw the occasional tempter tantrum when she does not get her every desire met immediately. That's how she rolls.
So, every morning she is in the bathroom while mommy is getting dressed and starts going through all of the hair products (which she does not need due to her bald head). She must be wearing shoes and she simply must have her handbag (which is actually her lunch tote) to go anywhere. Once she is dressed, complete with accessories, she struts out the door like she can drive herself.
Then there is Cooper. She is currently Riley's diva role model and coach. When Riley needs a push in the right direction, Cooper is freely willing to help. Cooper is evolving into more of a princess on a daily basis. She is now concerned with her hair, her nails, her clothes, and especially her shoes. Thank you, mommy. I have already informed Cooper that she will need a good job to pay for all of her shoes.
Cooper now carries a purse where ever she goes that is completely filled with all manner of cosmetics and girl stuff, including: multiple flavors and shades of lip gloss, sparkling hand sanitizer, hair care stuff, gum, and an untold number of bracelets and miscellaneous jewelry.
Cooper went from wanting to play baseball and basketball to cheerleading. Again, I have photos. Not too long ago I was helping her with her swing. Now she is demonstrating poses and kicks, and acrobatics that I am helpless to aid with. Who do I blame? Disney Channel. Curse you Hannah Montana and High School Musical!
And then there is Hannah. She is knocking on the door of adolescence and I am afraid. Very afraid. She is already talking about boys. Well, she is talking about that Bieber kid. Before him it was Joe Jonas, whoever he is. See what I mean? She already has that whole "hair flip" thing down and is more worried about her cleanliness than Cooper. The child spends an eternity in the bathroom getting ready. She still plays sports which is good. I can coach a jump shot. I can't explain why some boy didn't compliment her hair.
Yes, I am in trouble. Luckily, I have my wife. No, she does not act like a diva, but she understands these people. The older they get the more ignorant I will become. I don't know about girls entering adolescence. I don't know about cosmetics and how to apply eye shadow correctly without putting out an eye or about which shade of red lipstick looks good with a certain color dress. I don't have a clue about writing cheers or choreography. I know about basketball, baseball, and volleyball and can coach them all. I can teach swimming.
Fortunately Ashley can take over where I can not. She can teach the girls about shoes and purses and I can supplement that knowledge with how not to be the victim of a purse-snatching, and if that ever happens, which shoes are most comfortable for running the punk down to tackle him. Ashley can teach them etiquette and I can teach them to defend themselves against an attack and exactly what profanities they will utter in the process, and how to use them correctly.
So I guess it will all work out. I have something to contribute and I just hope they will listen because I may not know about girls, but I know all about boys and who they really are despite what they may say. So to all of my girls' future boyfriends, I am on to you clowns. Best of luck. My girls may appear to be divas, but I assure you they are much more.
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