Evidence of the crime

What we have here friends is the scene of the offense.  The place is the kitchen.  The what is cereal.  The evidence is obvious.  If you don't see it, look closer near the bag. 

Someone viciously and maliciously desecrated our kitchen floor by knowingly and intentionally entering a bag of cereal without consent and making said mess by dumping the remnant onto the floor.  Or, another way to say it is that one of my children threw our knock-off Cheerios onto the floor while sneaking food.

First of all, I know I didn't do it.  Secondly, neither did Major.  Hey, I got to make sure the only two males in this house stick together.  Besides, his alibi was easy.  He was outside eating.

When I walked into the kitchen the first thing I see at the scene is the bag.  Fact:  Riley Grace has been carrying that bag around for four days smashing handfuls of cereal in the mornings.  So, immediately I have my suspect.

As I look closely I see another obvious clue...the "patch."  To the non-parentals, that is baby slang for the pacifier.  So being a trained investigator I deduce Riley has decided dinner was not satisfying enough for her and she sneaked into the kitchen and hurriedly got into the cereal to supplement her dinner while leaving a mess, and evidence of her offense, in her wake.

So I immediately confront my suspect about my scene.  Riley and I are standing in the kitchen and I ask her what happened.  She stares at the mess.  I had my hands on my hips and simply stared at everything.  I ask her what the mess was.  Riley looked up at me and simply pointed at the cereal while shrugging her shoulders.  All I could do was stand there as dumbfounded as she appeared to be.  I took her behavior as a non-verbal admission of her offense.  Her punishment you ask?  None.  I could see she was genuinely sorry for her behavior.  Yes, I am a sucker.  I laughed at her and sent her toddling back into the living room while I cleaned up her mess.

Even though she got off without punishment, there are lessons to be learned here.  First, daddy is an investigator.  I catch crooks for a living.  So that means I will find out what happened eventually.  Secondly, let me assist you in lessening the chance of getting caught.  Never, I mean never, leave your patch behind.  It is a dead giveaway that you were present when whatever happened, happened.