Well, back at it again. Hopefully I can keep from having months between writings.
So there I was minding my own business driving along I-35 somewhere in Kansas or Oklahoma. Truthfully, I drove so much this weekend I have no idea where we were. We were headed home from Mike and Stacie's house after a short weekend trip. I say short because we spend a lot of time driving there and back, which only left a little time to spend with everyone. That time included a birthday party, shooting pool, and a lot of coffee.
Anyway, there I was. Riley is seated behind me strapped into her NASCAR-like car seat say, and I quote, "Eewwwwwwwww, shewwwwweeeeeeeee." I look in the mirror and to my surprise I see Riley holding her stuffed monkey upside-down. Riley had her nose buried on the monkey's butt. Here comes the line..."Riley, don't smell the monkey's butt."
I know, it sounded odd to me, too. After I said it I stopped for a second, thought, and realized that yes, I actually did say those words. Had folks asked me ten years ago if I would ever say, or if would even think about saying something so completely ridiculous, I would have laughed in their face as I patted them on the head and sent them away. But there it was, completely unexpected. My wife stopped and stared at me with a look of complete confusion. She was a loss for words for a split second as she stared at me in all of my ridiculousness.
So where did all of this come from? Riley has a new-found fascination with her nose. Actually, the fascination is with her sense of smell. She has over and over again heard me say, "Eewwwwwwwww, shewwwwweeeeeeeee," as I change her doo-doo diapers. So I guess it is my fault that she now wants to smell everything and tell me that it is "sheweeeeeeeeeeeeee." The "Scentsy" plug-in in the bathroom..."shewwwwweeeeeeeee." The clothes I had just taken out of the dryer...similar. The odorless plastic plants on the table in the dining room...the same.
I, being an experienced father, knew that she would become giddy upon smelling her stinky and dirty feet. Again, that is my fault since I used to smell her feet after taking her shoes off as an infant. Of course then, there was no smell at all. Now I don't think I could take it without shedding tears. I anticipated her telling me that she tooted and it smelled. And hey lets face it, she is right. I awaited her telling me that something I the kitchen smelled terrible. But I never expected to see her SMELLING THE MONKEY BUTT and proclaiming its foulness while we traveled along the interstate. Even more, never had I thought about uttering that phrase.
My wife told me I should keep a list of those sayings. Now I wish I would have listened. So as they come up I will have to compile a list as I have the lessons for my daughters that I continue to build upon. Maybe I can put them in my book. What I know is this...as they get older my girls will do things that will force me to say things the average father would not ever have to say.
